A Response to the Response to the Responses...Inception part Deux

I've used Twitter more this month than I have since I've been a member of Twitter.  Are you called a "member" when you use Twitter?  Anyhoo, I have met a new friend who I've never met.  And that is Cory Copeland.  I don't know him, but from the stuff he posts, I swear he's my brother from another mother...or brutha from anotha mutha.  He writes a cool blog and is a young Christian man.  I love saying those words together: young, Christian, man. I don't get to say them often when describing young ones around here. Cory recently wrote a post called "Sex and the Good Girl"  and it was a great article of fall and redemption...at least from my point of view.  Apparently, people have their own opinions and different views, who knew?!?  Several people, especially women, didn't see the post as one about a man reminding you of redemption; instead they saw a man condoning abuse.  Cory responded to the responses in another blog post and here is my response to that:

     As I have stated to you before, I found the article to be very compassionate and would like other young women to read it so they can know that whatever you do, God will forgive you. Not once did I think of abuse. I fact, I can't even relate to the story from the point of view of "boy seduces girl to make her have sex". What I read was a story of a person being faced with temptation. A person, whether boy or girl, who was faced with a looming temptation, whether sex, drugs, alcohol, etc, and gave in. A person who realized their wrong, from THEIR own perspective, not the fault of the persuader. And most importantly, I read the last part about redemption and forgiveness.

     When I read it, I see me a person who was optimistic, so optimistic that one guy I dated actually said that when he first met me, he didn't like me because I was so happy all the time, who began to see the world as the enemy persuaded me to see it; believing that I was a failure and no one loved me and the only way to end this pain was to end my life. For me, when I read the blog, the boy represented me believing the enemy instead of God, who loves me unconditionally and has a great plan for me. I didn't depend on God for my provisions, joy, or whatever. I didn't trust God. I hated myself for not being as successful as I the next person, for being single, for not being as strong as used to be, etc. The thoughts that were plaguing my mind were so extreme, I would have to pull over if I was driving to cry or just scream!!! So, when I gave into the enemy and I was ashamed. And I couldn't tell anyone because the last thing I wanted was people saying "Awww, you poor thing." or "I feel so sorry for you that you are dealing with that..." UUUGGGHHH!!!

     I didn't commit suicide (obviously...), but I was definitely at rock bottom. I had to keep up appearances for those who looked to me for "happiness" and encouragement; I had to make them believe that my life was "a-okay! and I don't let things like being single or whatever get to me". I felt so stupid and ashamed for having to deal with depression because I knew better than to believe what the enemy was telling me!!! I knew everything wasn't going to be perfect, but I had just completely crumbled.

     I thank God all the time for bringing me from that pit, forgiving me, and making me stronger! He is my knot when I've reached the end of my rope! My ledge when I want to take that last step off the cliff! When I read the ending of the post, it reminded of where I came from, how great He is presently and great and wonderful He has for me!

Knee to Chin Running is Unnatural.

^"Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behindand straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 3:13-15 (NIV)

So lately I've been playing Xbox Kinect games with my sister in an attempt to exercise...yay, the joy.  I have come to the conclusion that video games categorized as "exercise" are out to get me.  We've played with blocks, fish, boats and what look like bales of hay.  I've boxed until I was barely able to stand and participated in track and field events that required me to run in such a way that I thought my knees would hit my chin.  There were times you play against each other and other times as a team.  I also hula-hooped, which I EXCELLED in.  My back and my mind did not agree to the movements required to hula hoop and I paid the price for that victory.  But I won and that's what matters, right?

I have to admit, there is one game we play that I really enjoy.  It involves jumping, squatting and moving side to side to avoid obstacles.  In between the obstacles are rows of stars that the player has to use their bodies to retrieve.  The rows can be diagonal, vertical or horizontal. Either way, you have to avoid the obstacle and contort your body in time to get the stars before the next obstacle.  You have to be fast.  And you have to pay attention.  There were many instances when I missed the stars.  I would get 2 stars out of the row or more or less of them. Then there were times I got all of the stars.  But no matter how many you retrieve or don't retrieve, you can't go back and get the ones you've missed and you don't have time to dwell on how you missed them, you have to keep going and focus on the obstacles ahead.

When you read the Scripture above, you notice that it says "forgetting what is behind".  In life, we don't get all the stars.  We don't always make the mark or make the grade.  There are times when you look back at a situation and say "Dang it!  I failed that test; I knew better than that!"  (You may not say "Dang it!", but I do because I don't curse.  And if you need some words to use instead of curse words, I have a list.  I'll be more than happy to share it with you, but that's another day.)  Anyhoo, we mess up.  It happens.  But before you know it, another obstacle is coming your way, so you need to focus on that.  You have to get back on your feet and be ready!  Repent and let it go!  God does.  When you sincerely repent, God forgives and lets it go.  Psalm 103:11-13 says "For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him.  As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us." How cool is that!?!  So don't dwell on it; learn from it and move forward!  Remain focused on your main goal: Living your life for Christ. It won't be easy, but jump over, dodge, move around, and run through those obstacles ahead of you!  Remember, you have to remain focused and you have to be quick on your feet because the enemy doesn't take a break!  And most importantly, you and God, you're a team.  He's right there with you.  But if you keep looking back at what you've missed, you can't move forward with God and that next obstacle is going smack you right in the head!

I Am NOT a Hotline...

^"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."  Philippians 4:6 NIV

There's one thing I've learned that I hate.  That's answering phones.  As a teen, I was constantly using the telephone.  One may have thought it was connected to my head.  I didn't mind answering the telephone because there was great chance that the call was for me.  The later the call, the more likely the chance.  But now that I have a job that requires me to answer phone calls, I notice how much I hate it.  The reasons why I hate it:
1. It interrupts my work.  Whatever I am doing is now put on hold to answer the phone call.  What if I have the memory of a fish and forget what I was doing?  What if I had a prolific thought and the ringing phone caused me to lose it?  Ugh!  Stupid phone...
2. People don't care about your time or that prolific thought you just lost.  All they care about is their inquiry, which leads me to number 3.
3. No one asks simple questions.  The questions are usually followed with unnecessary information.  Whenever I hear the word "because", I know I'm in for a Lifetime movie plot.  For example:
Me: "Good morning.  Thank you for calling xxx.  How may I direct your call?"  (Notice I did not ask WHY the person is calling.)
Caller: "I need to speak someone about a pair of shoes I need to return..."

Here it comes...

"...because when I wore them to my grandmother's house, she has to have hardwood floors because her walker doesn't slide as easy across carpet, they made the most horrible squeaking noises on the hardwood floors and I can't wear these things anywhere that isn't carpeted.  And at work, we have linoleum floors so I'm sure they'll make that same noise and I can't have that noise everywhere I walk at work and I do a lot of walking, it's a hospital and...

Me: (awakes from slumber) "Let me transfer you to that department."

So, in short, if you call me, keep it simple.  I am not a hotline.  That may sound a bit harsh, but it's honesty and let's be honest, you feel the same way.

Thankfully, we serve a God who is a hotline.  He listens to each and everyone of our situations.  And while He doesn't want us to be simple as in short and vague, He does want us to be simple as in plain and simple.  Just spill out everything to Him; He wants you to be open and transparent.  How awesome is that?  He actually wants to listen to you and me!  While we should bear each other's burdens, we do not.  We feel our own burdens are enough.  And the problem is we can't help others because we are still carrying our own.  God said to cast our burdens upon Him.  Then we can help others do the same.  And how do we cast those burdens upon Him?  By talking to Him, talking to Him a lot.  He's not going to direct you to another department.  He's not seething on the other end of the line ready to smash the phone against the wall.  He listens.  And He answers.  Thank you God for not being like me.  Thank you for being my hotline.