A Response to the Response to the Responses...Inception part Deux

I've used Twitter more this month than I have since I've been a member of Twitter.  Are you called a "member" when you use Twitter?  Anyhoo, I have met a new friend who I've never met.  And that is Cory Copeland.  I don't know him, but from the stuff he posts, I swear he's my brother from another mother...or brutha from anotha mutha.  He writes a cool blog and is a young Christian man.  I love saying those words together: young, Christian, man. I don't get to say them often when describing young ones around here. Cory recently wrote a post called "Sex and the Good Girl"  and it was a great article of fall and redemption...at least from my point of view.  Apparently, people have their own opinions and different views, who knew?!?  Several people, especially women, didn't see the post as one about a man reminding you of redemption; instead they saw a man condoning abuse.  Cory responded to the responses in another blog post and here is my response to that:

     As I have stated to you before, I found the article to be very compassionate and would like other young women to read it so they can know that whatever you do, God will forgive you. Not once did I think of abuse. I fact, I can't even relate to the story from the point of view of "boy seduces girl to make her have sex". What I read was a story of a person being faced with temptation. A person, whether boy or girl, who was faced with a looming temptation, whether sex, drugs, alcohol, etc, and gave in. A person who realized their wrong, from THEIR own perspective, not the fault of the persuader. And most importantly, I read the last part about redemption and forgiveness.

     When I read it, I see me a person who was optimistic, so optimistic that one guy I dated actually said that when he first met me, he didn't like me because I was so happy all the time, who began to see the world as the enemy persuaded me to see it; believing that I was a failure and no one loved me and the only way to end this pain was to end my life. For me, when I read the blog, the boy represented me believing the enemy instead of God, who loves me unconditionally and has a great plan for me. I didn't depend on God for my provisions, joy, or whatever. I didn't trust God. I hated myself for not being as successful as I the next person, for being single, for not being as strong as used to be, etc. The thoughts that were plaguing my mind were so extreme, I would have to pull over if I was driving to cry or just scream!!! So, when I gave into the enemy and I was ashamed. And I couldn't tell anyone because the last thing I wanted was people saying "Awww, you poor thing." or "I feel so sorry for you that you are dealing with that..." UUUGGGHHH!!!

     I didn't commit suicide (obviously...), but I was definitely at rock bottom. I had to keep up appearances for those who looked to me for "happiness" and encouragement; I had to make them believe that my life was "a-okay! and I don't let things like being single or whatever get to me". I felt so stupid and ashamed for having to deal with depression because I knew better than to believe what the enemy was telling me!!! I knew everything wasn't going to be perfect, but I had just completely crumbled.

     I thank God all the time for bringing me from that pit, forgiving me, and making me stronger! He is my knot when I've reached the end of my rope! My ledge when I want to take that last step off the cliff! When I read the ending of the post, it reminded of where I came from, how great He is presently and great and wonderful He has for me!